Why Doing a Little Less This Holiday Season Might Be Exactly What You Need
It was three in the afternoon on a Friday, and I was perched precariously on top of my counters, painting the crevices between our cabinets and the ceiling.
Hopping off the counters, I ran over to my stovetop, where I was browning meat for a dish I was making. I had signed myself up to cook and bake for one of my best friend’s baby showers. Not only was I painting my kitchen, but I decided I could do it in the same afternoon as the food prep.
I managed to convince myself I could time paint coats between food prep. Reasonable, right?
C’mon — there are only so many hours in a day. I pretty much had to do this.
Even though this was only two days ago, I feel a slight sickness reflecting on the choice. By the end of the day, I was totally burned out, tired, and felt like I hadn’t had a chance to breathe since eight that morning. Although I had quite a bit to show for it, the day felt squandered.
When I woke up that morning, I had every intention of not only painting the kitchen walls, but also doing the trim. And running errands. And doing laundry, writing two blog posts, and painting.
Where had the time gone?
When Doing Everything Becomes the Default
Lately, I’ve realized that I have a bit of a savior complex — the feeling that I have to do everything at the same time. For everyone. Because if I don’t, no one else will. I have to come to my own rescue, and everyone else’s.
As the holidays approach, I think about the parties and gatherings I’ll be attending. I reflect on past years, when I’ve made an exorbitant amount of food, to the point where I’ve convinced myself that if I don’t do it, no one else will.
Friday taught me that sometimes less is more. Sometimes it’s better to consider scaling back, offering to bring less. Had I not committed myself to making so many dishes, I may have left myself the mental space to tackle home projects with ease. Yet, I felt as though I had a responsibility to fill in the gaps.
Society teaches us that accomplishing more, doing more, and giving more somehow makes us more competent and deserving people. We extend well-intended compliments to people who “do it all” and look at them with wonder.
But what if we started rewarding pulling back? Doing less? Giving a little less of ourselves? What if we gave what we can, emotionally and physically, instead? What if we only gave as much as feels good?
Yes, it’s true — there are only so many hours in a day. So many days in a year. I’ve always convinced myself that this means I have to cram more in.
I’ve always thought I needed to add more to my day. Add more to my plate. I’ve slowly been learning that no one actually expects me to do more. That’s just a voice in my head, trying to convince me that my worth is tied up in what I do and what I accomplish.
Choosing Less, On Purpose
Starting today, I’m going to do less. Just a little. Fewer tasks, fewer commitments, less responsibility, fewer projects. If that means some people think less of me, so be it.
Next week, when asked what I’m bringing to holiday gatherings, I’ll offer what I can — emotionally, financially, and time-wise. I’ll balance my days, filling them with things I enjoy. A warm cup of coffee at eleven. A chapter in my book. A cathartic blog post. Maybe I’ll bake out of joy, but I won’t bake out of necessity or guilt. I certainly won’t try to paint my kitchen at the same time.
We all have a hundred things we have to do. But the fact that there are limited hours in the day doesn’t mean we need to do more. It means we need to do less, with more intention.
Today, I’ll pick the two to three most important things to do. And everything else on my to-do list?
I’m letting it go.
Related:
