I Let a Bad Habit Back In. Here’s What It Taught Me – and What I’m Doing Now.

I have a confession to make.

The past month or so, I’ve allowed a signature bad habit to creep back into my life. I’m human, I know. But I feel a surge of shame when I think about the identity I was hoping to build before January 2026.

Alcohol. I’ve been drinking alcohol again. Not just “once in a blue moon,” like I had committed to myself months ago. No, I’m drinking a couple of times a week now (at least).

If you’ve ever created a new version of yourself, only to slip back into the old one, welcome to the club.

I’ll admit, I was cocky when I cut back drinking this summer. Moreover, I oversimplified how difficult it is to break a habit. Not because the habit itself is hard to break, but because it’s so easy to fall right back into it.

I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with alcohol most of my late teens and adult life. Never been an “alcoholic,” but certainly have abused it more times than I’m proud to say.

Right now, it’s nothing to be particularly concerned about (except the brain cells alcohol is killing off). A few drinks on a Saturday. A drink or two after work.

It’s not that I have a “drinking problem.” It’s the fact it’s feeling habitual again, and that puts a knot in my stomach. In the summer, I made a concerted effort to cut back, with two months of sobriety in May/June and September. I felt great. It was great. And I truly believed that I was going to be sober by year’s end.

And yet, here I am.

This won’t be the last article I’ll write on this topic, so I’ll keep this one brief and to the point.

When Old Habits Return

We all have habits that we want to break. When we finally break a habit, it can make us feel powerful and invincible. Whether it’s eliminating sugar, alcohol, cigarettes. Or maybe you created a new habit. You started going to the gym, or daily walks.

This confidence and pride give us a false sense of security in believing we’ll always stick to the habit. That the only trajectory is up. That we’ll only get better, improve, and never slip back. In truth, good (and bad) habits are so much more nuanced than this.

I’m here to tell you that it’s okay if you slip back into a habit you’ve built. You’re human. But as a human, it’s your responsibility to recognize it’s happening and do something about it. From there, consider recommitting to being the person you want to be.

In practice, this looks different depending on what you’re trying to accomplish and what problem you’re dealing with.

In my case, this means being more intentional when I consider drinking at the end of the workday.

One Thing We Can Control: Our Intentions

Living with intention gives us a sense of control, purpose, and alignment. What is it you intend to do? Who do you intend to be? What life do you intend to live?

This week, my primary intention is to pay attention to what alcohol is doing for me, and how I can better self-regulate without it.

Secondly, I intend to pay close attention to the positive feelings and benefits of not drinking. It’s so easy to notice the downside of sobriety, forgetting how we can nourish our minds and bodies without it.

For me, that’s just what alcohol is. It’s my shut down button. A drink or two after the workday is the signal to me and my brain that we’re allowed to relax (clearly, I feel like I need permission).

Cognitively, I recognize that there are a million ways I can shut down (in a positive way!). Today, I’ll experiment with a new routine — maybe reading, writing, or painting, something that requires sobriety (at least for me).

Rebuilding Identity, One Small Vote at a Time

There’s a quote by James Clear that I love.

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity

His argument is that building (or in my case, rebuilding) habits isn’t about radical changes. Rather, the small changes we make on a daily basis — the choices we make — are evidence to ourselves of the kind of person we are. The kind of person we want to be.

So this week, I’m going to continue casting votes towards the new identity I was building. I’m giving myself grace for the past few weeks. Instead of condemning myself to my old identity, I’ll put a vote in each day for the person I am, the person I want to be, the person I continue to grow into.

If you’re struggling with a habit that you’re trying to break, or one that’s crept back into your life, consider using this framework.

• Did you stop going to the gym? Pick one day this week to go.
• Do you catch yourself snacking mindlessly? Today, pay attention to when you’re feeling snacky, and try drinking a glass of water or going for a walk instead.
• Did you start going to bed later and later? Tonight, go to sleep 30 minutes earlier.

Every day won’t be perfect. But each day is a new opportunity to cast a vote for the person you want to be.

Instead of viewing habit building in a vacuum, as black and white, try a lighter approach. Let yourself be human, but don’t lose sight of the person you know you are. Cast your vote. Every day. Keep voting for yourself. The person you know you are.

Vote for the person you’re becoming.

What’s a habit you’re trying to create? Think about one small action you can take today that casts a vote for the person you want to be. Share your ideas in the comments!

If you’re interested in learning more about habits, here are my (current) two favorite books on the topic:

• The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg
• Atomic Habits, James Clear